Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'm a 90 year old

I bet you didn't know that I'm actually a 90 year old woman. It's true. These young whippersnappers and their technology drive me crazy.

I remember the exact day I started hating mobile technology. It was 2008 and I was at an a cappella concert. The entire row of college girls in front of me was texting. The whole concert. To each other. I mean why bother coming?

Since then, it has just been a giant snowball of hatred. I hate when people text me. 98% of the time, it is easier to have a phone conversation about it. I hate when people check their email on their phone while they are over for dinner. Can't it wait 1 hour? I hate that cell phone companies charge you ridiculous amounts for data that hardly costs them anything just because they know people have to have their internet fix. I hate it all.

Friday I lost my phone at the zoo. I'm pretty sure this monkey took it. He looks so guilty.

Which reminds me of this video..."Monkey hate technology!"

I digress.

I had to change Zoe and I left my purse in the bathroom. When we got to the car two hours later and I didn't have car keys, I went back to the bathroom to look for my purse. I saw the strap of my purse sticking out of the diaper trash can. Let's ignore the fact that I dug through a trash can full of baby poop. My purse and wallet had been unzipped and rifled through, but the only thing that was missing was my cell phone. My 5-year old, does absolutely nothing but dials numbers, crap flip phone had been stolen over credit cards, cash, and target gift cards.

Now get this.

The only thing that upset me was the thought of having to get a stupid smart phone (last time I needed a new phone, they did not offer any without data plans).

Luckily, Verizon has since added back more basic phones that don't require data plans and I was able to ignore smart phones for another year or two.

But this also happened last weekend.

I said.

Out loud.

"I think I might get an iPad."

I have touched an iPad all of twice. I'm pretty sure this 99-year old knows more about them than I do.

I almost slapped myself. I have never once longed for mobile technology. Three things that sold me made me consider the possibility were.

1 - I have some extra personal money that I never use or spend and this seemed like a fun and useful treat/possible 30th birthday present to myself.

2 - My Aunt Tammy had this adorable program, uh app (?), that had pictures of animals and would say the name of the animal in Greek and Zoe loved it.

3 - My friend Tim showed me this Anatomy app (!) that would be super useful for my patient care since I don't have an office with books and models to do patient education.

So, I might have to end my anti-technology stance. It may just be time to give up and join the rest of society. After all, telling my 73-year old Nana not to text me seems a bit backwards.

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