Tuesday, January 8, 2013

By the way...you're not being cool

Sometimes, (daily) I make questionable parenting decisions. I like to tell myself it is because I'm being a cool and laid back mom. This is just not true. Really, I'm being stupid.

One time when I was in a hurry trying to get out the door for work, I let Zoe play with my make-up.

At first I was all, "Look how cute!"

She was putting on blush. If you don't think that's adorable then you have no soul.

Then she did this.

"Oh my god! Get that out of your mouth!"

Who cares if the baby is eating makeup? She was ruining my brush.

But I didn't even learn a lesson.

The next time I was rushing to get out the door, I let her play in the same drawer. This time she was very gently stacking things and counting.

Yes. Two, nine, and six are the only numbers that exist in Zoe counting world. 

And then...

She overhanded my favorite eye shadow directly at the wall. WTF baby? 1 million pieces of All About Eve on the bathroom floor. Why couldn't she have thrown my blue eye shadow from junior prom? Only after I put it all in the trash did I remember the Pinterest makeup tip of fixing it with rubbing alcohol.

Then there was the time I let her play with the Tupperware drawer in the kitchen. "No problem," you say?

What if I told you that some of it is glass. She chipped the first one she tried to stack.

Totally my fault.

Basically, even babies who are normally very gentle are STILL BABIES.

I let her play with the wooden animals from our Noah's Ark Christmas decoration. She broke the feet off a lion in 47 seconds just by dropping it on the floor.

So I think I've finally wised up. If it wasn't made for babies and it is something I would like to continue owning, then she can't touch it.

I even made the decision not to hang the special breakable ornaments on the Christmas tree. You know, she never once touched that tree. She just sat in her chair and stared at it purring, "Treeeeeeee".

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