Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Every pregnancy really is different.

Lot's of people (OK, three) have stated in the past week they completely forgot I was pregnant. I haven't written much about this pregnancy, because I don't want to be Debbie Downer. I know other bloggers like to "keep it real" or whatever, but I'm really not into internet whining.

Telling it like it is sprinkled with some pointers? No problem.

Complaining about the same things over and over again? Not my style.

So here is the deal. This pregnancy has been very difficult for 4 reasons. The fact I can't enjoy every part of it is annoying to me and I don't like annoying myself.

1 - Early anxiety because of possible twins

My first ultrasound showed one heartbeat and an additional sac. That ultrasound was so early that there was a small possibility that the second sac was just a few days behind and could have developed normally. Seeing two sacs on the ultrasound totally panicked me - I was actually going out of my mind.

When the ultrasound tech asked me if twins ran in my family I immediately said, "NO!"

That's not entirely true though. I often forget there were some twins in my grandparent's generation, but it was the early 1900's in rural Alabama and the survival rate just wasn't that great.

When we followed up later in the pregnancy, there were still two sacs. The OB said, "Girl, there are two in there." It took her almost 20 minutes to confirm there was only one baby. There was some weird reflection thing (not the scientific term) going on with the ultrasound and it really looked like there were two babies.

So, for 6 weeks I thought I might be having twins and it scared the bagoogles out of me. Bagoogles is going to catch on - I can feel it.

I had a lot of guilt about not "wanting" twins and anxiety about the birth experience usually associated with twins (high intervention). It was a tough first trimester.

2 - No remission

My pregnancy with Zoe was amazing. I quickly went into remission and even though I puked my guts out until I was 15 weeks pregnant, neurologically I felt great. I was working out all the time and working three full days a week. I felt unstoppable.

This time, my neuro symptoms picked up a little bit. My vision got jumpy, my fatigue spiked, and my muscle spasms returned. Nothing major, but definitely not what I was expecting. I used to always joke that I'd be a surrogate for anyone who asked me just so I could have more remission, but I rescind that offer. Don't even try asking me to have your babies.

3 - Toddler interference 

I know this is going to be a thousand times worse after this baby gets here, so moms of 2 or more can save their "Oh you just wait" lines.

When I was pregnant the first time, I still got to do whatever I wanted. Oh, I need a nap at 5pm? No problem. I need an extra hour of sleep before I go to work? No big deal. I need to lie down and rest all weekend? More Netflix please.

NEWSFLASH: Toddlers do not care about your well being!

Zoe doesn't like it when I lie down, or close my eyes, or think about resting at all. She wants me sitting on the hardest floor, in the worst position, for the longest time.

4 - SPD

If you don't know what that stands for then consider yourself very lucky. It stands for symphysis pubis dysfunction and it is horrible. It basically means your body is ripping in half. There is a tiny joint connecting the front of your pelvic bones together, which is supposed to get a little wider when you go into labor in order to help you deliver the baby. When you have SPD, it separates during pregnancy and can cause debilitating pain with any movement that puts a strain through the front of your pelvis, which is pretty much all movement.

"Mommy hip hurt" is now a common Zoe sentence. I'll write more about how to cope with it another time since there is very little accurate info out there and it may help someone else. From walking to rolling over in bed to getting dressed to sitting on the floor - it has all put me into tears.

It's not like I'm a sissy who has never been in pain before. I've had 4 knee surgeries, a lumbar puncture, needle EMG testing, an un-medicated birth and I can still say, this is some of the worst pain I've ever been in.

So if you ask me how this pregnancy is going and I just say, "fine" it's because if I say anymore words I will melt into a puddle of tears and that's totally awkward.


  1. Oh man twins would be super anxiety inducing! And SPD?! I'm so sorry! I actually hurt my pelvis a week before I gave birth last time and it was simply awful, I felt like an old lady shuffling around the city. But I did see a chiro/kiniseologist and it magically helped and he said he helps women with actual SPD from time to time. I hope that you find some relief from it :( But check out the theory about how the hormones that we produce with boys and with girls, and how we react to them, are what causes our different symptoms...

    1. Thanks Kassie, I started seeing a chiro at 21 weeks, and although much much better, my body just can't stay aligned right now. That's even with me being a PT and knowing exactly what to do for it when I'm not getting treatment.

  2. No "Just wait" comments from me - I thought it was WORLDS easier to have a new born and deal with the other kids that it was to be pregnant. Just a little longer!